


Back to Gryffindor Tower

by choerryonce



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Hogsmeade, Marauders, Marauders era, Romance, Underage Drinking, Winter, but it’s all in good fun
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-15
Updated: 2020-08-29
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:55:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Underage
Chapters: 3
Words: 12,278
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25918438
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/choerryonce/pseuds/choerryonce
Summary: Lily Evans has convinced herself that James Potter is just as much of an arrogant toerag as she had always thought, right? But that seems to all be changing, and Lily finds herself falling for the boy she once loathed. Lots of Marauder shenanigans, Lily being an idiot in love, and all those good Marauders feels. James x Lily.
Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter
Kudos: 33





	1. Part I

**Author's Note:**

> A / N: Hello everyone! As some of you may know, I have a slight (and by slight, I mean very large, crippling, and hindering to my daily life) addiction to reading Marauders fanfiction. I live for Jily as a ship and I finally decided to try my hand at writing some! So, I present to you, the first chapter of “Back to Gryffindor Tower”, which started out as a Jily oneshot but has become a 3-4 part story (depending on whether I do an epilogue or not - I’m not sure). I apologize for any Americanisms I may have inadvertently used; I tried to replace most slang with British slang, but I really don’t know, whoops, and sorry to any Brits I may have offended. For some context, this is set in January of 6th year, and James has given up getting Lily to go out with him after being rejected so much in 5th year. I think this is honestly my favorite thing I’ve ever written, and it’s definitely some of my best writing. I tried out a different writing style for this story - reading the Throne of Glass series and rereading HP books makes me want to ~write fancy~. And, for the first time in my life, I have ALREADY gotten started on the next chapter so look forward to that soon! This chapter is also 2300 words, making it longer than any other chapter of any fic I’ve ever written, even though in the world of fanfiction that’s not that impressive, but I’m proud of myself. Huge thanks to @woollycat22 for being one of my unofficial betas for this story, and go check out her stories! Some very interesting things are happening over on her accounts :)
> 
> Disclaimer: I don’t own anything other than my TWICE photocards. Please don’t try to take them.
> 
> Enjoy!

The icy wind chilled her breath and blew against her skin, raising goosebumps on the pale surface. Her long, dark red hair billowed behind her, and she pulled her Hogwarts robes close to her chest, wrapping herself in warmth. It was January, just after she had returned to the school after going home for the winter holidays. She loved the month and also loathed it; the cold could be frightening and unfamiliar at times, but curling up on the sofa in the Gryffindor Common Room with an absurdly large mug of cocoa was one of her favorite pastimes. January was a give and take. 

On this particular frigid afternoon, Lily Evans was taking a stroll back to Gryffindor Tower and attempting to enjoy the weather; the start of the new year was a time of opportunity, she would tell herself. Take advantage of it. Hogwarts was always magical, but it seemed particularly majestic in the winter months, the snow a delicate quilt laying over the towers and turrets. The lake had been frozen over with a thick sheet of ice; she would sometimes see students sliding across the surface, laughing with their friends, not a care in the world. A smile danced onto her lips. Today, Lily Evans was having a good day.

As she strolled across the grounds, she mulled over various topics pertaining to her life at that moment: she had an upcoming Transfiguration assignment that was currently filling her with dread, she had woken up that morning to a thick piece of expensive parchment informing her that there was to be another Slug Club party (Lily liked Slughorn, but found his parties a bit frivolous), and unwittingly of someone who seemed to cross her mind a lot these days - a certain James Potter. 

Once Lily had “gotten over herself” (as Marlene had put it) and became friends with him, she found herself frequently surprised at what he was actually like. Of course, she would never admit that she was wrong or that her assumptions had been incorrect; Lily Evans was not the kind of person who was wrong, not after she had spent so many nights convincing herself that James Potter was just as much of an arrogant toerag as she had always thought. But he wasn’t an arrogant toerag, she could at least admit that much. 

They had started to talk to each other more during the beginning of 6th year; Lily was not keen on this after he had spent so much of the previous year begging her to go out with him, but Remus had started to become more involved in prefect duties (no doubt hoping for a shiny new Head Boy badge, even Remus Lupin couldn’t resist that) and so it seemed that the insufferable four Marauders were popping up in her day-to-day life more and more often. At first, she was annoyed - she had never found the Marauders charming or funny, more of a pain in the backside and occasional hindrance. They were a presence that was always there, but she tried not to pay them too much attention; at least, until the great “James Potter Being Incorrigible Saga” (also as Marlene had put it) commenced mid-5th year. 

But after a while, Lily didn’t mind them so much. She had long harbored a soft spot for Remus - he was the only one of the four boys who actually seemed to care about schoolwork and appeared to typically not be a mastermind of their troublemaking. They had remained friendly over the years notwithstanding his being a Marauder. Peter was quiet enough; he had always been the least noticeable of the four, always tagging along with the boys instead of actively participating much. He rarely spoke and usually appeared to be in awe of the other boys, especially of James and Sirius. Sirius had built up quite a reputation over his years at Hogwarts, beginning as a mischievous troublemaker and eventually working his way up to being a ladies’ man in his later teenage years. He was stupid handsome with long, dark hair that curled just so at the ends, and striking blue-grey eyes that, as you were staring into them, made you feel like you were looking at a glimpse of the storm beneath. And then there was James. Severus’ long-standing near rivalry with the student had always led Lily to dislike him - back in the days of Lily and Severus’ friendship, many of their opinions and ideals blended together until they were nearly considered a single unit, separated only by their houses. But the days of Lily and Severus’ friendship were long gone, and Lily found herself becoming more and more curious about James Potter, even after the aforementioned saga. She felt as if she wasn’t tied to this opinion that Severus had, and she could find out what she wanted about the boy for herself.

Of course, at first, she found him irritating as ever. He was an egotist if there ever was one; always tossing the light, golden Snitch up in the air and catching it (even if the ease he completed the task with was awe-inspiring), running his hands through his untidy jet black hair, rustling it so that it always looked as if he had just hopped off of a broomstick. The jokes he cracked sometimes elicited a laugh from Lily, but it was a rare occurrence, once in a blue moon. 

As 6th year began, James seemed to have given up on getting Lily to go out with him. She was baffled after she made it through the whole month of September with not one attempt, only the occasional “Hey, Evans,” or gaze in her direction during classes. James Potter had learned his lesson, so it appeared. She spent more time with the Marauders (see Remus’ head boy ambitions) and found herself having fun. She didn’t think she’d ever find that with such a troublesome group of boys, but it seemed the universe had proved her wrong. The habits James had made seemed less vexatious and more (but only slightly more, she would remind herself over and over) endearing. As time went on, Lily found the loathing she used to keep for him fading, the walls she had built up slowly thinning, and the distance she kept between them growing smaller. She was remembering an encounter they had had the other day when a familiar voice coming from behind her interrupted her thoughts.  
“Evans!” There was no mistaking that tone. It was the one and only, James Potter himself, in the flesh. 

Lily whipped around to see him, the wind like icy water on her cheeks. She attempted to ignore the small flutter in the pit of her stomach as he gave her his trademark lazy grin and waved a hand at her. She could feel a slight flush creep its way up into her face, but hoped that the red tinge her pale skin had already taken on from the cold would cover it. She observed him as he ran up to see her. He was wearing his regular winter uniform, a wool sweater over a off-white button down shirt. His scarlet-and-gold tie was all out of sorts, not done up correctly and pulled loose, laying askew. His trousers fell a little short on him - James Potter was astonishingly tall for a 16-year-old boy and not even Madam Malkins could keep up with his rising height. He had warm, hazel eyes with small flecks of gold sprinkled throughout, and his jet-black hair sat untidily on top of his head as usual. His face lit up once she turned to look at him.  
“What are you doing out here?” he inquired, slightly out of breath from jogging to catch up with her.   
“You know, Potter, some of us actually try to enjoy nature.”  
“And I actually try to avoid freezing my arse off.” She let loose a small chuckle at his comment. He turned around to face the other way, walking backwards as he talked with her. “So what are you up to?” he continued.  
“Not much. I’m heading back to the tower and then need to study for the Transfiguration assignment. It’s gonna be a nightmare,” she said, sighing exasperatedly at the mountain of studying she would face once she got to the tower. The exhalation was a puff of white mist in the bitter air.   
“Well, I’m always happy to help.” He put on a salesman smile for that line. “You know I’m brilliant at Transfiguration.”  
“How you manage to still get the best marks in our year in that class astounds me with you and Sirius calling Professor McGonagall ‘Minnie’ constantly.”  
“You know she loves it.” She chuckled again. Since when did James Potter make her chuckle every other sentence? Soon they fell into easy conversation. Lily would only realize it later, but the only other people she had felt so natural talking with were Mary and Marlene, and they were her greatest friends. They made jokes, thoroughly verbally abused teachers they loathed, They walked and talked for a bit, only a short conversation to fill the time while walking back. She felt a twinge of something she couldn’t quite place each time he smiled at her. He grabbed her hand once (to “speed you up, you slowcoach,” apparently) and the warmth the simple gesture filled her with made it seem as if it was a shining summer’s day instead of a dreary winter one. Eventually, after a brief silence, he posed a most peculiar question.

“So, Evans,” he began, a tone in his voice light and casual that yet seemed forced. “What’re you doing for next Hogsmeade weekend?” Lily tensed, her pace briefly halting but then forced to continue. She had heard him say so many things similar to this to her, and they nearly always ended with the same outcome: him asking her out. As she quickly pondered the thought, she realized that the prospect of going somewhere alone with James Potter did not fill her with extreme loathing, and seemed doable. Mildly alarmed at this sudden revelation, she pushed the thought aside. She tried not to let the nervosity show on her face and swallowed hard before asking, “Why?” in a tone she prayed was nonchalant.   
“Moony, Padfoot, Wormy and I are heading up to the Three Broomsticks. Thought you might want to come.” Lily’s mouth nearly fell open at the idea. Going to the Three Broomsticks with the Marauders was certainly a thought. She had never considered something like that before. She reflected on the past few months: how she had gotten closer to the group, their presence no longer a burden to her, how James had seemed, while a bit egotistical, genuinely kind-hearted and well-intentioned time and time again. A small smile spread across her face at the idea of going somewhere just to hang out with the Marauders, just as friends. When had she started to consider that insufferable group of boys her friends? She wasn’t going to let James get off that easy, though. The new attitudes she had towards the Marauders were frightening and new to her, and she shuddered at the thought of what James would say if he knew.   
“This is really just an excuse for you to flirt with Madam Rosmerta, isn’t it?” she said as they entered into the castle, heading in the direction of Gryffindor Tower.  
“You know she only has eyes for Padfoot.” he said, looking over at her and giving a grin and a wink. She felt her heart skip a beat.  
“Will I never find out the meaning of the nicknames?” Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs. A fascinating bunch, with strange and unidentifiable pet names to boot.   
“All in good time, Evans. All in good time.”  
“Well,” she said, thinking over things her friends had told her. She was nearly sure that she was going to accept James’ offer, but blowing off anything she already had with her mates would not have been a good look, especially since they were already suspicious of her and James (“There’s years of unresolved sexual tension!” Marlene had once said, and Mary nodded in agreement). “I think Mary and Marlene are planning to do something strange and disturbing together, as they often do.”  
“An odd pair, those two.” he added, a gleam in his eye and smile on his lips. They were a nice shape, she thought. Full and colored pink. She had never noticed that before. She knew he liked Mary and Marlene; they were playful, opinionated girls, qualities Lily knew the Marauders respected, since they themselves were the epitome of being playful and opinionated.   
“I’m not sure I want to know what they get up to.” He snickered. “Well then, I think the only acceptable thing for me to do is to accept.” she said, feigning exasperation. Then she turned to him with a smile on her face, letting him know that she was not indeed disappointed at the prospect. He grinned back, and then gestured forward to show that they had reached the stairway to the Tower. The joyful expression on her face fell slightly when she registered that their time to talk was through.   
“Unfortunately,” he began. “This is where I leave you. I’m off to get lectured by Moony for not finishing my Herbology homework.”  
“Okay, then.” she said, trying to not let her sadness show. “See you later, Potter.” He smiled at her one last time before patting her shoulder (butterflies conjured behind her navel) and running off in the other direction.   
“Bye, Evans!” he called to her with a wave. 

As Lily made her way to the common room, there was a smile etched onto her face that wouldn’t leave, and a happiness that didn’t disappear even as she sat down to start her Transfiguration homework.


	2. Part II

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A / N: Hello, everyone! It is I again, back with another chapter of BTGT. Wow, me actually updating a week after the previous chapter was released? Unheard of. Props to MacNChez (MacNChez748 if you’re reading on Wattpad) and woollycat22 for actually motivating me to finish this chapter.
> 
> Anyway, welcome to Part II, and absolute MAMMOTH of a chapter, sitting at 7,100 words. This is the longest thing I’ve ever written BY FAR. Like literally, this is almost 3x the previous longest thing I’d ever written. Get a snack, get a blanket, and settle in for this massive chapter. Please read it carefully, because I put hours and hours of work into this. I’m really really proud of it, so I hope you enjoy it! By the way, the next chapter will probably be nowhere near as long as this one (considering that it will only have 1-2 scenes while this one has like 4-5 although like 2-3 are just Hogsmeade fun), so enjoy it while it lasts. I was also away from my laptop for like 5 days so it took hijacking my grandmother’s computer and also writing on my phone (omg never again I hated that) to get this out for you all!
> 
> You may notice that I say realise instead of realize, and that’s honestly cause I like the way realise looks more and also it’s the British version, so maybe I could fool some people (people who don’t read A / Ns I guess) into thinking I was actually British. Whoops.
> 
> By the way, for some reason, Tame Impala is the perfect band for me to listen to while writing this. I don’t think it’s anything with this fic specifically, but I can really just zone out and focus while listening to them (okay I technically know it’s not a them cause it’s just Kevin Parker and his home studio but it feels weird to not say them). I wouldn’t say you should listen to them while reading this, but just check them out in general because my gods Kevin Parker is a genius.
> 
> I also included the word “eightfold” just to throw people off a bit. I find it fascinating that twofold-tenfold are all legitimate words.
> 
> And for some reason here on AO3 the italics are not showing up. Anything that doesn’t really seem to fit in with the rest of the writing style or is in first person is most likely a thought from Lily.
> 
> Disclaimer: I don’t own anything besides my Blackpink photocards. Please don’t try to take them.
> 
> Enjoy!

For the next two weeks, Lily Evans had one thing at the forefront of her mind: her trip into Hogsmeade accompanied by the Marauders. She could hardly stand the anticipation - she hadn’t foreseen such excitement building in herself day by day. It was 6th year, so students in Lily’s year were getting a much-needed break from their exams, being caught in-between OWL and NEWT examination years, but the professors at Hogwarts seemed to spare no time making sure they were prepared for the latter. The homework piled up over the days; it seemed that Lily would finish one essay she had worked long and hard on, and not even have time to take a breath before she started on the next. She was desperately craving an outlet of relaxation, and the only thing in the foreseeable future that would provide that was the Hogsmeade weekend. 

But there was something different in the type of anticipation and even apprehension that Lily was experiencing; the only thing she could liken it to was before she went on that dreadful date with Miles McLaggen back in 4th year. That was a total nightmare. She mostly accepted to go out of the pure compassion and sympathy that coursed through Lily Evans’ kind-hearted veins. But he was a terrible flirt and a worse conversation partner, so it ended up being one of the less enjoyable Hogwarts experiences she’d had, to say the least… wait, what?! This informal hangout with four boys she used to find intolerable was eliciting the same reaction from her as a first date? That didn’t make any sense, she wasn’t interested in any of them! They were only her friends! Peter, Sirius, Remus… James. 

Her affirmation that James was just a friend was hesitant. She couldn’t deny that there was something about him, something that set him apart from anyone else. When he smiled at her, it seemed as if the whole room lit up, and his laugh filled her with warmth, like butterbeer on a bitter day. Lily couldn’t deny those things either, they were facts. But she pushed the thoughts aside. She was just a confused teenager with hormones all over the place, it was normal for one of your friends to make you feel that way, right?

She was pondering these peculiar thoughts one night as she sat on the sofa in the Gryffindor Common Room and pored over her Astronomy textbook, too consumed in her thoughts to take in any of the information on the page. But she still turned the pages absentmindedly, a motion commanded into her fingers after five and a half years of studying at this godforsaken school. She had just flipped the page when a familiar someone came rushing through the portrait hole. It was none other than her best friend, Marlene McKinnon, red as a cherry in the face, looking slightly out of breath, and wearing a fuming expression. The sudden arrival shook Lily from her thoughts, and they instead turned to mild concern at the sight of her friend. However, it wasn’t uncommon for Marlene to do this: there was always a bee in her bonnet. 

“You’re going to the Three Broomsticks with the Marauders next Hogsmeade weekend?” Marlene demanded to know, her arms crossed and her eyes staring daggers at Lily. Lily was taken aback by the question and the severity of her friend’s apparent anger. I feel like that doesn’t deserve such a strong reaction, but it is Marlene. 

“Er...” Lily began, “Yes?” she said, looking up at Marlene from her spot on the sofa with an apologetic look, but Lily couldn’t ascertain the reason behind the apology. Marlene’s expression softened slightly, a small portion of her anger turning to shock and annoyance.

“Why didn’t you tell me and Mary?” she asked, her tone the epitome of exasperation. Lily contemplated the question. She was friends with the Marauders, right? So it wouldn’t be so odd for her to not mention it. She was only going to hang out with some friends on a Hogsmeade weekend. Unless there was another meaning behind her concealment of the information, involving Lily’s uncertain and confusing feelings towards one James Potter… she willed the idea out of her mind. But as she opened her mouth to answer Marlene’s query, another voice interrupted her.

“Lily’s going to Hogsmeade with the Marauders?” Lily turned her head to the right and her other best friend, Mary Macdonald, came into view. She shut a thick novel with curly, gold writing that said “Emma” on the cover and landed on the sofa next to Lily with a resounding thud. 

Lily loved Marlene and Mary more than words could describe. For most of her Hogwarts education, she hung around the one and only Severus Snape, and the pair were nearly inseparable. But of course, Lily made some other friends (or, in more accurate terms, acquaintances), which included Mary and Marlene. After all, they shared the Gryffindor girls’ dormitory together, so it was only right that they were friendly to one another. And mid-4th year, when Severus started to hang around with that shady group of Slytherins (Mulciber, Avery, Yaxley, the list went on and on), Lily started to spend more and more time with them, and they grew closer and closer. However, Lily had still felt that Severus was the only one who really understood her, her true best friend.

And then of course, the complete disaster that was 5th year happened. Severus insulted Lily in the absolute worst way possible and ruined their friendship in doing so, that fateful day on the sunny school grounds. Lily had lost her closest friend, and her heart was shattered. Marlene and Mary came to the rescue. Of course, they weren’t best friends immediately, but the girls were there for Lily as she navigated life without Severus by her side. Lily came to trust Mary and Marlene at least as much as she had trusted Severus, if not more. She could hardly remember a time when they weren’t a constant in her life. 

Marlene was a witty, athletic girl. She played seeker on the Gryffindor Quidditch team, and had a small build, perfect for shooting across the pitch. She had hip-length light blonde hair, set in little waves that flowed down her back and cascaded over her shoulders. Her dark blue eyes were the color of the ocean, and she had a slight smattering of freckles speckled across her long nose and round cheeks. She was highly opinionated and judgey, but also made Lily and Mary roll around on the floor laughing at least twice per week. She (evidently) often lost her temper. Mary was in a similar vein; she had scintillating wit and was wildly funny. Unlike Marlene, however, Mary detested sports (although she went to watch Quidditch matches for the sake of friendship) and preferred reading. She was a bookworm, always poring over novels. She particularly enjoyed Jane Austen. She gave quite a few damns about her schoolwork, and was near the top of the class in most subjects without being overly cocky or arrogant about it (unlike some bespeckled, dark-haired, hazel-eyed boys Lily knew). She was also exceptionally sweet and was dating a Hufflepuff boy named Reginald Cattermole - they’d been dating since late 4th year and were tooth-rottingly cute. Mary’s hair fell just past her shoulders in loose ringlets, the color of a warm cup of coffee. She was average height and had green eyes so light-colored they were nearly grey. Mary, Marlene, and Lily: a perfect trio.

Lily only realised she’d been staring off into space, thinking about her friends, when she was snapped back to Earth by Mary saying, “Lily? Are you?” and her head jerked involuntarily in the direction of her friend. 

“Er, yeah. What’s so weird about that?” Lily inquired, her thoughts finally drifting back to the matter at hand. 

“You’ve hated them for years, and now you’ve been friends with them for like, 2 months and you’re going off to Hogsmeade with them!” Marlene huffed, plopping down on the other side of Lily, a steely edge in her expression mixed with anger as she gazed into the fire.

“I still don’t see what’s so odd about that. They’re my friends, aren’t they?” Lily repeated.

“I must say I have to agree with you, darling,” Mary began, putting on a posh voice and brushing a strand of Lily’s hair out of her face the same way an adoring mother would. “They are her friends after all.” She turned to face Marlene for that sentence, still feigning motherly affection. 

“Isn’t it awkward with James, though?” Marlene wanted to know. Panic bubbled in Lily’s chest, a blush creeping its way into her cheeks. 

“No!” Lily responded, a little too quickly, looking determinedly anywhere but her friends’ faces. It was true, it wasn’t that awkward. Lily had known for 2 years at this point that James had a massive crush on her, but lately, it seemed that any (even slight) insinuation of a romantic relationship between James and Lily caused Lily’s brain to short circuit and panic arise within her. Marlene and Mary exchanged glances.

The pair had become increasingly suspicious of Lily and James' friendship over the past few months. They had a very touchy and affectionate friendship - in their eyes, a little too touchy and affectionate for normal friends. Of course during the great “James Potter Being Incorrigible Saga” Marlene and Mary had pretended to hate the boy along with Lily (they secretly suspected that Lily didn’t actually hate him, but played along regardless). But Marlene, being Marlene, saw the unresolved sexual tension between the two and actually thought they would make a fairly cute couple. Mary, being Mary, always had a soft spot for enemies-to-lovers romances, and, like Marlene, thought the pair would make an adorable couple. Mary and Marlene saw the tender glances sent between the two when they thought the other wasn’t looking, and how every time James’ name was so much as mentioned in passing conversation Lily’s face brightened and her demeanor shifted. And now this was the final evidence they needed: Lily Evans had a crush on James Potter, and was either in denial, attempting to hide it, or was just completely oblivious to her own feelings. 

“Is that so?” added Mary, smirking at Marlene first and then turning her gaze to Lily’s direction. 

“I mean…” Lily began, clearly fumbling for words and tripping over her own thoughts. “It’s a bit awkward, I guess, but he’s given up, hasn’t he? And besides, we’re just friends.” Lily stared down into her lap, where her hands played with each other unnaturally, a blush spread across her face so wide it tinged the tips of her ears. Marlene and Mary exchanged glances yet again; they knew better.

“Well, just don’t do anything I wouldn’t.” Marlene added, jokingly.

“Well, then,” Lily began, “The bar is very low.” The three girls laughed in unison.

\------

James Potter’s eyes always seemed to follow Lily Evans. In every class, every mealtime, every time they were in the same vicinity, his eyes were automatically drawn to her. She was the most beautiful person he had ever seen. Her soft, heart shaped face was surrounded by dark red, almost crimson, hair that was incredibly thick (or so he assumed; he longed for a chance to run his fingers through it), and fell in large waves down past her waist line. Her eyes were a piercing green, shaped like almonds, and freckles dotted her pale skin. It seemed that every detail about her was called to his attention constantly. Many people presumed that James was predominantly interested in Lily for her looks, which were well known, but that couldn’t be farther from the truth. She was flawless in every way: her wise-cracking attitude and effortless jokes, her intelligence without snootiness, the pure compassion and kindness that she radiated. She was the definition of perfect, at least to James.

But he had finally given up. It was obvious from the start that she would never feel the same about him, but James Potter never gave up, right? And so he tried and tried and tried. Whenever James reflected on that time in his life, he cringed inwardly at his own immaturity and selfishness. He had come back from the summer holidays before 6th year feeling different, altered in a way he couldn’t explain. Perhaps he had just grown up. He knew that what he was doing to Lily was uncalled for, and realised that if she did the same to him, he would also be rightfully pissed off. And so he set for himself a new challenge on the horizon: slow the advances, and just try to be her friend. That would be enough for him. It would have to be enough for him.

And so he tried. And to his astonishment (and Sirius’), it actually worked. He grew closer with Lily, as did all the Marauders. However, with every joke of his she laughed at, every time he made her smile, his heart only hurt more and the longing grew harder to manage. She was more perfect than he ever thought possible. It didn’t take long for James’ waking moments (and not waking) to be only consumed with thoughts of Lily. More than they ever had been before. It was like his head had gone into replay mode on the Omnioculars of James’ life: every conversation, every interaction, played back in excruciating detail. 

The other Marauders loved to joke that James was in love with Lily, but they all knew that it was probably a bare infatuation, a lust brought on by the tensions of adolescence, and a gorgeous, unattainable girl dead center. But these days, James wondered if his feelings were starting to run deeper than that. But allowing himself to face that reality would make things just that much harder, and so James let himself get distracted every time the thought roamed his brain. He liked where they were, being friends. It was enough.

And now she had agreed to go to Hogsmeade! It would be at least 2 hours of precious, uninterrupted Lily time. The other Marauders were also coming, but it was rare the two got a moment alone anyway. And, like the rest of 6th year, the homework kept piling and piling day after day, and James needed something to look forward to. He would never admit it, but he actually cared about his studies a bit, and the stress was starting to take its toll. Hogsmeade with Lily was just what he needed to take his mind off things. And so, each day, James fell to sleep dreaming of the red-haired, green-eyed girl.

\------- 

“Come along, Evans,” Sirius called back to Lily as she stepped out of the castle doors just behind the four boys. A smile stretched across her lips, and she jumped off the Hogwarts steps with a clack as her shoes hit the pavement. Her red hair cascaded in large waves down her back and over her shoulders. She wore a large, voluminous crimson sweater tucked into a dark, waist-length wool skirt that hit her just above the knee. Underneath were thick black tights that led into her regular school shoes. Overtop of the whole outfit was a soft brown coat that stretched past the hemline of her skirt. 

She had spent more time than usual picking out her clothes that morning, trying on several different sweaters before finally settling on one, and suddenly feeling very indecisive when it came to choosing a skirt. She wasn’t sure why. Of course, Mary and Marlene had their suspicions, (“James’ll like the wool one the best,” Mary had said that morning, grabbing a lengthy book from her nightstand. “It compliments your complexion.” Marlene nodded in agreement. Lily just scoffed at them before going back to her closet and choosing the wool skirt.) but Lily tried to think nothing of them, though a small part of her said that their reasoning was correct. She rejected that notion. 

“It’s too cold today.” Lily said, a slight frown fighting the smile on her face. “I think the weather hates fun.”

“Ah, but then how would we get snow days, Evans?” James turned to her, a twinkle in his eye. He was wearing a normal school sweater and jeans. Lily realised she’d never seen him in regular clothes before. It separated this Hogsmeade James from the James who’d spent so many hours pleading with her the previous year. It made him look attractive. Objectively, attractive. Not to Lily specifically. It was a fact, that was all. 

“How do you know about snow days?” Lily inquired. She had never thought about James’ schooling previous to Hogwarts, and Hogwarts didn’t give snow days. James shoved his hands into his pockets before exhaling on a slight sigh. His breath was misty in the bitter air.

“I actually went to a Muggle school before coming here,” James said. Lily looked at him incredulously. “Mum and Dad thought I should be taught basic things like maths and biology.”

“Reasonable people, they are.” Remus interjected.

“Unlike my mum and dad,” Sirius added. “I was brought up on a strict curriculum of pureblood brainwashing. Luckily, I was an exceptionally bright child and did not fall privy to their horseshite.” As they continued chatting, the group joined the line of students heading down from the grounds towards the Shrieking Shack. There was a path that led from around the shack into the little village of Hogsmeade.

Like Hogwarts, Hogsmeade was always beautiful, but seemed that much more magical in the winter months. It was a quaint little town, full of pubs and shops. It was always comforting to Lily; there was a certain warmth that came when you entered Hogsmeade. A plentiful blanket of powder white snow rested on top of the slanted roofs and covered the ground, though worn down by footprints of students and villagers coming to and fro. The store windows were always vibrant and colorful, advertising wild products to the impressionable pupils. Lily gazed at the stores, and didn’t realise she’d stopped walking until James grabbed her hand and pulled her along. The touch of his hand sent a shock through her body, and she shuddered, but it wasn’t in an unpleasant way. The group made their way to a dusky pub with a swinging wooden sign hanging from the wall reading “The Three Broomsticks,” with a drawing of an obnoxiously large mug of ale beneath the words.

As the five entered the building, the familiar aroma of the tavern wafted throughout the room and right into their noses. Peter scanned the room and then started walking towards a small booth in the back, nearly the only empty table. It seemed that the pub had filled out considerably although the students hadn’t been in Hogsmeade for long; it was a well known, popular spot, a staple for all Hogsmeade-goers. The lighting was dim and the air was thick and humid: Lily removed her jacket at once, tying the sleeves around her waist. She turned and saw James staring at her with familiar affection in his eyes although as soon as she noticed, he turned bright red, coughed, and looking pointedly in the opposite direction. She chuckled and smiled to herself.

Sirius, in the meantime, headed over to the bar and retrieved several silver Sickles from one of his pockets. She couldn’t hear the exchange between him and Madam Rosmerta, but she caught an exasperated look on the barmaid’s face followed by a smile, and a laugh and wink from Sirius. Madam Rosmerta disappeared into the back room and then returned with 5 warm bottles of butterbeer that clinked together as Sirius strolled over to the table they were hovering around. Peter and Remus slid into one side of the booth and Lily into the other. To Lily’s slight surprise, James slid in next to her. He kept his distance, though, leaving a healthy 20 centimeters between himself and Lily. 

“Brought the goods,” Sirius said as he pulled a chair from a nearby table to the end of the one they sat around and plopped into it. “Although maybe I’ll snag some firewhiskey from Rosie later.” 

“How is she, Rosie?” James asked.

“Missed me, as usual.” Sirius joked. “Nearly died without my company.”

“I’m sure,” Remus added.

“Who wouldn’t be able to resist the charms of the great Sirius Black?” Lily said, eliciting a laugh from the others. 

“Cheers!” Sirius said with a grin, raising the bottle of butterbeer he’d grabbed. They all reached for a bottle of the sweet-smelling beverage, and clinked with each others’ before taking a sip. It tasted like butterscotch, but not in an overly-sickly way; it was the perfect sweetness, and the warmth from the liquid radiated throughout her body, filling her with comfort. Both Mary and Marlene had grown up drinking the stuff, but Lily had never tried it, and was expectedly anxious to have a taste of the drink once she got to Hogsmeade in year 3 (it was everything she’d hoped it’d be). Severus had also never had the drink, even though he was a half-blood, but she’d once made him try a sip and he looked like he was going to be sick. Sweets weren’t for Severus - nor was anything fun, really, Lily thought to herself. She shook herself out of the thought and returned to the present.

“I was a bit surprised, Lily, to hear that you’d agreed to come with us.” Peter said, gesturing to her with his butterbeer bottle. Lily was slightly surprised to hear his voice; Peter rarely spoke and typically just tagged along behind the rest of the Marauders.

“Well, I just thought, you guys are kind of my friends now. And I had no other plans, so why not?” Lily replied truthfully. A small voice in her head reminded her of a desire to be around James she had felt recently, but she told her thoughts to kindly shut their mouths.

“Yeah, Evans is one of us now,” James added, and - to Lily’s large surprise - slung an arm around her shoulder. She tensed for a moment, taken aback at the physical thing James had done, but relaxed virtually immediately afterwards. She sunk back into his embrace, noting how his arm perfectly fit around her shoulders, a flawless fit. He smelled like pine trees and new leather - scents reminiscent of his Quidditch career. She liked this feeling, she liked it a lot. He was warm and comfortable; she could feel every beat of his heart reverberate. But then a familiar timbre broke Lily from her pleasant state. 

“Not just a friend to Prongs, though.” Sirius felt the need to interject. Of course he had to bring that up. At Sirius’ comment, James noticeably tensed and sat up. The cozy feeling left Lily at once.

“Shut it.” James’ voice was thick with annoyance and anger at his friend’s words. A pang of disappointment hit Lily as James detangled himself from her shoulders, sliding down a bit to put distance between the two. It felt as if all the warmth from her butterbeer had vanished.

But the encounter was soon forgotten. The Marauders and Lily continued chatting on as if nothing had ever happened, as typical friends. They complained about schoolwork, the Quidditch season (“Prongs, don’t you think 6 practices a week is a teensy bit excessive?” Sirius, another Chaser, directed to the Quidditch Captain. “We’ll never beat Ravenclaw if we don’t keep practicing! Have you even seen Oliver Fenwick? He’s the best Seeker they’ve had in ages!” James responded), and ended up abusing Slughorn.

“He’s a total nutter.” James said.

“And he seems biased against Muggle-borns, although I think he’s in denial.” Remus added. Slughorn was head of Slytherin, and had always appeared to have a slight preference for pureblood students, and was thoroughly surprised when any Muggle-born succeeded at a task.

“But he loves Evans, though.” Sirius said. It was well known that, despite his bias against Muggle-borns, Lily was practically the professor’s favorite student. 

“What can I say, I'm a master of potions.” Lily said, flipping her hair over her shoulder in a falsely righteous manner.

“You’re a Sluggie, right?” Peter inquired. “Sluggies” are people who are in Professor Slughorn’s exclusive Slug Club and attend his parties. Being associated with the term is either a blessing or a curse, varying on where you are and who you are talking to.

“Yeah. Honestly, I don’t mind Slughorn-” 

“That’s only ‘cause you’re brilliant at Potions,” James felt the need to add with a slight snort.

“-but I cannot stand Slug Club parties. Too much mingling for my taste, and half the people there just have famous or rich parents who gave a load of gold to the Ministry or some other lousy cause.” Lily was one of few people actually in the Club for their talent (hers being an affinity for Potions), and the rest only had connections. Of course, sometimes what counts is connections, but Lily wished there were more people in the club who were there for her same reason.

“How’s the food, though?” Sirius grinned and asked, almost sarcastically, but with a hint of seriousness. Leave it to the Marauders to make everything about food.

“Varies. Sometimes it’s your regular fish and chips, but other times it’s rubbish like dragon tartare.” Lily had had the tartare in question and dashed to the lavatory as soon as the party concluded. 

“Blech.” Peter piped up.

“Well, we’ve nicked better stuff than that from the kitchens.” Sirius said - it was well known in Gryffindor house that the Marauders had figured out how to get into the Hogwarts kitchens. Sometimes they would come tumbling through the portrait hole with as many cakes, cookies, and flasks of pumpkin juice as they could hold.

“You should come with us sometime, Lily.” Remus added.

“It’s practically a rite of passage once you become our friend.” James said. Lily found that idea enticing, even though she was a prefect… 

“Not to mention the house elves love Prongs.” Peter added. 

“Yeah, I think some of my house-elves know some of them, or something.” James said, taking one of the last sips left in his butterbeer bottle. Lily was taken aback. James had house-elves? She’d never thought about it before, although she realised it wasn’t completely odd - the Potters were a well known Wizarding family that presumably had quite their fair share of gold. Still, though, Lily was shocked.

“You have house-elves?” Lily said incredulously, turning to look at James. 

“Yeah,” James said. “Perk of coming from an old wizarding family. Mum freed them ages ago, ‘course, but they stay anyway. Think they like the work.”

“Yeah, and Prongs’ mum pays them loads, too.” Sirius added. 

“Well, we’ve got too much gold for our own good, so it’s a good way to use it.” James said in response. He came from a generous family, Lily noted. She became more curious about James’ family, and so asked a few questions. 

“What do your parents do, then, Potter?” Lily asked.

“Mum used to be a herbologist, you know, studied plants and things.” James said. For some reason, this surprised Lily. 

“What a shame her natural talent wasn’t passed onto Prongs,” Remus said.

“Shut up, Moony,” James shot back playfully.

“He’s right, though. You’re rubbish at herbology,” Sirius interjected.

“Doesn’t stop him being a git, though, does it Padfoot?” James said. Sirius shrugged and nodded in agreement. Lily chuckled softly.

“Anyway, as you might know, Dad’s an auror at the Ministry. Mum keeps getting more and more worried each time he goes into work as the war gets worse.” James said. With this, a heavy silence fell over the group. No one was expecting to mention the war. Tensions ran higher and higher each day as Voldemort gained more power and followers. It was terrifying to all who hadn’t joined them. Lily tried not to dwell on the subject too much during her waking moments, but it was difficult not to, especially since she was a Muggle-born. The light, friendly air the group had created was overtaken by a somber, almost frightened one. But everyone was shaken out of their thoughts as Sirius posed a question:

“Who wants firewhiskey?” 

\-------

A bottle of firewhiskey later, Lily was starting to feel a bit lightheaded, in a pleasant manner. Sirius, who was of age and in Rosmerta’s good graces, got a bottle for them and snatched 5 shot glasses, all emblazoned with The Three Broomsticks’ logo. They took turns taking shots, slowly becoming more and more intoxicated. I should not be doing this, a voice in Lily’s head reminded her. I’m a prefect, and I’m not even of age! This was the rational part of her, reminding her that getting drunk with the Marauders would be a terrible idea. But isn’t it fun? another voice said. To be free, and loose? Exempt from the pressure you place on yourself? Have a little fun! This was the fun part of her that others rarely got to see. Lily murmured to herself, “I’m gonna listen to her,” before downing another shot of the amber liquid. It burned the back of her throat in the most pleasant way possible, setting herself on a fire of relaxation and rebellion. She wasn’t drunk yet, just tipsy. How much could it hurt?

“What did you say?” James asked her, leaning in close towards her ear, his voice deep and slightly slurred. Sexy, a part of her thought. She silently cursed herself for the thought, reprimanding the part of her brain that was letting the alcohol take over her mind.

“Nothing,” Lily responded, looking up at him with a smile, staring deep into his eyes. And then Lily had a moment of clarity, and felt completely sober, and the realisation she had next terrified her: Lily Evans realised, right at that moment, as she studied James’ face, saw the way his jawline cut and how the light caught in his hazel eyes, that she would like nothing more than to kiss him. A part of her mind urged her to give into that desire, but she snapped her head forward, and back to reality. 

Oh shit. She fancied James Potter. 

Her eyes widened and her cheeks heated. She grabbed the bottle of firewhiskey to help lose herself in the feeling, trying to ignore what she’d just discovered. She filled her glass and took the shot, but in doing so, emptied the bottle. 

“I’ll get another one,” Sirius said, nearly tripping as he got up from his chair and made his way over to the bar. He returned moments later with a second bottle of firewhiskey in hand. Lily caught a glimpse of a very disapproving Rosmerta watching him as he staggered back to the table. 

“Let’s play a drinking game,” Sirius proposed, shimmying the cork out of the top of the bottle. 

“I really shouldn’t let you do this,” Remus responded, putting his head in his hand, chuckling slightly but obviously disapproving of what was happening. 

“Aw, come on Moony, lighten up a bit,” James said, ruffling his hair. It looks really soft. Lily almost reached out a hand to touch it, but fought the urge. 

“I’m a prefect,” Remus said from under his hand.

“So’s Evans, but you don’t see her stopping us,” Sirius said.

“I really should though, but I’m finding the firewhiskey quite pleasant, actually. What’s this game you’re suggesting?” Lily asked.

“I know one,” James started. “It’s called Jinx or Drink.”

“What’s that?” Remus asked.

“Basically, you have three options: hex someone random, take a shot, or answer any question truthfully.” James explained, his voice surprisingly still only a bit slurred. How well can he hold his liquor?

“Wait, but then why isn’t it like ‘Jinx, Drink, or Truth’?” Lily asked, looking confused-ly at James, obviously befuddled by the naming of the game. 

“Dunno. Sounds catchier?” James guessed. Lily shook her head while a slight smile formed on her lips. 

“Anyway, let’s play that. Who should go first?” Peter asked.

“Well, seeing as I’m already being completely irresponsible, I’ll go first.” Remus said, looking defeated yet amused.

“Alright, Moony!” Sirius exclaimed. “Jinx, drink, or truth - to use Evans’ version?” Remus tilted his head to the side, staring off in thought. He rested his chin in his hand, pondering the decision set before him. The silence seemed to last for hours, and only when James closed his eyes and started fake snoring did he answer. 

“Drink.” Remus said. 

“Moony!” James exclaimed. Sirius took his shot glass and started filling it with firewhiskey.

“I just figure I better drink my share, or else you lot’ll end up too wasted to function.” 

“Oh, Moony, ever our savior.” Sirius slid the small glass back to his friend, and Remus tilted his head back as he drank the liquid. He set it down and exhaled through his mouth.

“Who’s next?” Sirius asked, eager for the mischief to begin. 

“I’ll have a go, then,” James said. He craned his neck, as if preparing for battle.

“Jinx, drink, or truth, Prongs?” Sirius looked expectantly at James.

“Who made you the official question-asker?” James wanted to know, looking mildly annoyed at Sirius. 

“Shut up, Prongs, and answer the question.” Sirius demanded.

“Fine, but we’re switching askers from now on.” James began, “Er… jinx.”

“Bold move, Prongs.” Remus said.

“See that bloke over there, Prongs?” Sirius asked, gesturing to a boy a few tables over. James nodded. “Transfigure his bottle into a beagle.”

“I like how you think, Padfoot. After all, Transfiguration is my greatest-”

“And only,” Peter muttered under his breath, but it was loud enough for James to shoot him a glare.

“Skill.” James finished. He turned in the direction of the student, and discreetly held his wand out from under the table. He cast the spell silently, only mouthing the incantation. At once, the boy’s half finished bottle of butterbeer morphed into a small dog with large, floppy ears and a hyper tail. The boy nearly fell out of his chair with shock as Lily and the Marauders attempted unsuccessfully to hide bouts of laughter. 

“Nice one, Prongs!” Sirius said, and did another shot just for fun. Peter was chuckling quietly in the corner of the booth, and Remus was trying to look disapproving while overcome with laughter. James looked quite pleased with himself, and Lily was actually impressed. She was never good at Transfiguration, so seeing James, a boy not known for his academic skill, pleasantly surprised her. She smiled at James, locking eyes with him. She felt again the desire to kiss him, stronger this time. She forced herself to look away before she could do anything she might regret. 

“I’ll go next,” Sirius said. “Who wants to ask me?”

“Anything for you, Padfoot,” James winked before asking his friend. “Jinx, drink, or truth?”

“Hm…” Sirius started. “How ‘bout I shake things up a bit with a truth?”

“Alright, then…” James was thinking. “Do you actually shag any of the girls who try to have a go at you?” This was a question the boys had asked Sirius many times before, but he usually found a way out of it. No one was sure why. It was well known that Sirius was a ladies’ man - nearly every girl in their year had been interested in him at some point. Sirius flirted with them, of course; he was a naturally flirty person. And while people bragged about having hooked up with him, he never said a word, and it was a mystery to all.

Sirius hesitated for a moment before saying, “You took the easy way out on this one, Prongs, but for the sake of the game, I’ll truthfully answer… no.”

Everyone at the table was shocked. This was not what they were expecting. 

“Why not?” James asked, eyes wide in bewilderment.

“It just was never that appealing to me. I mean the shagging part was, obviously, but those girls aren’t actually interested in me. They just want the flirty Sirius who winks at them from across the room during Charms.”

“So… you’re a virgin?!” James responded in utter shock. 

“Also no.” Sirius said wearing an unidentifiable expression.

“But when?” Remus asked, joining the discourse.

“That, my friends, is a story for another day. Let’s move on. Who wants to go next?” Sirius asked, obviously amused with the information he had just revealed to his friends.

“I suppose I’ll go,” Lily said. She was shocked at how slurred her voice was, and at the lightheaded feeling that grew stronger each moment. Her senses were heightened, and she felt slightly detached from reality. She had unplanned urges to do peculiar things, but was just sober enough to restrain herself from giving in. She was excited to play the game, and be a different Lily Evans from the one she usually was.

“All right then, Evans!” Sirius began. James shot him a dirty look as he saw that Sirius would once again, be taking the role of question-asker. Sirius sent one back before speaking again. “Jinx, drink, or truth?” Lily pondered the question, and finally decided on an answer that would be the most interesting - or the most dangerous.

“Truth.” Lily said, bracing herself for what was coming next.

“Do you like Prongs?” Sirius didn’t hesitate for even a moment; it seemed as if he had suggested playing a game for the sole purpose of getting a chance to ask her that question.

“Er… I guess so. He’s a fine chap.” Lily responded, giggling slightly hysterically, a bit confused by the question. Of course she liked James, she was here with him, wasn’t she? They were friends! Why did I say the word chap? What has being drunk done to me? 

“No.. I mean like… do you fancy him?” Sirius clarified, and as soon as the query registered in Lily’s brain, her smile vanished and she turned a shade of red so deep it could rival the hue of her hair. She had another moment of sober-like clarity. As she had just come to this conclusion not 20 minutes before, being faced with it so soon was a daunting task to Lily. Am I that obvious? She looked over and James’ face was equally red, although he was also trying not to look in her direction, wearing a badly concealed expectant and impatient expression. She took a breath, tried not to seem so nervous, and answered the best way she could:

She took a shot. She had to either answer it truthfully, hex someone (which she was NOT doing), or take a shot. And so, to stay true to the rules of the game, she downed the small glass of firewhiskey before her faster than you could say butterbeer, and felt the spicy, fire-like (true to its namesake), alcohol burn the back of her throat. “I change my mind.” Lily said, trying to sound normal. 

“Well, that seems like a cop-out,” Sirius said, sounding exasperated with a defeated look on his face. “But… there is nothing in the rules about changing your mind and picking another option instead.” Peter was laughing to himself, Remus was looking at Lily as if he knew something she didn’t, and James looked disappointed, and yet - there was a hint of hope in his expression. That was very dangerous, indeed.

“It’s Peter’s turn, isn’t it?” Lily tried to move the game along as quickly as she could, while her thoughts were swirling a whirlpool in her brain. 

The game and night continued on as normal, but no one forgot about Lily’s suspicious response to the first question she’d answered. Once the third bottle of firewhiskey was finished, Remus was almost asleep, and it was ink-black outside. The group exited the tavern, thanking Madam Rosmerta on the way out, and stumbled the way back to Gryffindor Tower. 

Lily had an intense desire to touch James. Not in any particular way, just be near him. Hold his hand, hug him, kiss him. She tripped once and noticed that he grabbed her hand to steady her. She tripped several more times after that - although not all of them were on purpose, she really was quite intoxicated. It was cold, and so she used that as an excuse - in her mind - to stand close to him. His laugh was the most perfect sound she’d ever heard, and god, he was gorgeous. Now that Lily knew she liked James, it seemed as if all the crush-y things she had wanted to do before were amplified eightfold. Sirius and Remus seemed to take notice of this, looking in their direction and then glancing at one another. 

Right as they got to the base of the tower, and Remus, Peter, and Sirius had gone up, Lily threw herself into James’ arms. She longed to hold him, and so she hugged him as hard as humanly possible without becoming creepy. She noticed how, once again, his arms fit with hers perfectly. He was so tall that he could rest his head on top of hers. She relished the feeling of being in his embrace, she cherished his scent, and wished to stay there forever. She was perfectly content. This was perfect; he was perfect. But she forced herself away, and instead stared deep into his eyes. It would be so easy… there were only a few inches between them… no. She ran up the stairs without a word, running from her problems. She was unaware that a very nonplussed James stood there for minutes afterward, attempting to understand what had just transpired.

\-------

She ran up the stairs and into the girls’ dormitory. She was surprised to see that Mary and Marlene were the only two there, and briefly wondered where the other two girls in their dormitory had gone. She made herself choke down a glass of water in an attempt to lessen the inevitable morning hangover. Unfortunately, there wasn’t a charm for that sort of thing. She drank two more glasses and then pulled on a loose, cotton shirt and flannel pajama bottoms. She didn’t brush her teeth or hair and instead nearly collapsed into her four poster bed. 

“James bloody Potter,” she said quietly, but Marlene and Mary could still hear her. 

“What did he do this time?” Mary asked her. The girl came and sat beside Lily on her bed, and beckoned for Marlene to do the same. Marlene came over and sat on the other side of the bed. Lily pulled the blankets around herself and covered her face with the back of her hand, closing her eyes. 

“Made me fancy him,” she muttered, not realising what she had just inadvertently confessed before drifting off to sleep. Marlene and Mary turned to each other with big smiles on their faces, and quietly high-fived over the sleeping figure of their friend.


	3. Part III

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A / N: Hello everyone! Sorry for updating a day late, I was really stuck with writers’ block with this chapter. I have realized that all my A / Ns are super duper long so I’ve tried to shorten this one. Some notes for this chapter and the last chapter: a lot of the things that happen in this fic are things I’ve never experienced. I’ve never gotten drunk. I’ve never had a hangover. I’ve never been kissed. I’ve never been in love. A lot of this fic is what I would imagine those things to be like, with the help of my trusty Quora of course. My browsing history is very strange now.
> 
> In this chapter, let’s play: spot the reference! There is a (fairly obvious) reference to Sara J Maas’ book Crown of Midnight in this. Thanks, SJM, for the great sentence! Honestly, I never finished the Throne of Glass series but it was fun while it lasted.
> 
> I will be marking this fic as “completed” on both AO3 and Wattpad. The story is technically completed. Whether I will do an epilogue or not is really based on what I feel like doing. If I do end up doing an epilogue, it will be posted as another chapter. But for now, the story is finished! I am very proud of the story, it’s the only one I’ve ever completed. On Google Docs it’s a whole 31 pages of writing. Eeeee! Thanks so much to anyone who has ever clicked on this fic and read it, it means the world to me.
> 
> Again, this chapter is much shorter than last week’s, but that’s because last week I went insane and wrote like 1k words per day.
> 
> Disclaimer: I don’t own anything except my IZ*ONE albums. Please don’t try to take them.
> 
> Enjoy!

A / N: Hello everyone! Sorry for updating a day late, I was really stuck with writers’ block with this chapter. I have realized that all my A / Ns are super duper long so I’ve tried to shorten this one. Some notes for this chapter and the last chapter: a lot of the things that happen in this fic are things I’ve never experienced. I’ve never gotten drunk. I’ve never had a hangover. I’ve never been kissed. I’ve never been in love. A lot of this fic is what I would imagine those things to be like, with the help of my trusty Quora of course. My browsing history is very strange now.

In this chapter, let’s play: spot the reference! There is a (fairly obvious) reference to Sara J Maas’ book Crown of Midnight in this. Thanks, SJM, for the great sentence! Honestly, I never finished the Throne of Glass series but it was fun while it lasted.

I will be marking this fic as “completed” on both AO3 and Wattpad. The story is technically completed. Whether I will do an epilogue or not is really based on what I feel like doing. If I do end up doing an epilogue, it will be posted as another chapter. But for now, the story is finished! I am very proud of the story, it’s the only one I’ve ever completed. On Google Docs it’s a whole 31 pages of writing. Eeeee! Thanks so much to anyone who has ever clicked on this fic and read it, it means the world to me.

Again, here on AO3 I for the love of the gods cannot figure out how to do italics so please bare with me.

Again, this chapter is much shorter than last week’s, but that’s because last week I went insane and wrote like 1k words per day.

Disclaimer: I don’t own anything except my IZ*ONE albums. Please don’t try to take them.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The next few months proved difficult for Lily. Her feelings had intensified a great deal after coming to terms with the fact that she did, indeed, fancy James Potter. She stole wistful glances across the classroom at him and smiled anytime his name was even mentioned. But she had done something stupid, something very idiotic, that night after she got back to Gryffindor Tower after going to the Three Broomsticks with the Marauders. She had told Mary and Marlene about her feelings.

\------

The first thing Lily registered was her pounding headache. Wow, that hurts. She was too tired to open her eyes, so she focused on her other senses. She knew she was in her bed; the cool sheets pressed against her skin, she could feel her face half-smushed down on a fluffy pillow, and the weight of a gold-and-scarlet quilt rested on her body. She could hear muffled voices in the background, although they seemed louder than they should be: the sound crept into her ears and aggravated her headache. She could dimly recognize them as the tones of Marlene and Mary. All of her muscles ached terribly, she could feel pain shoot through her legs every other moment. The night came back to her: the “Jinx or Drink” she played, the several bottles of firewhiskey she and Marauders had made their way through, her realisation of her feelings for James (her face grew hot and her eyes snapped open in an unfortunate combination of shock and embarrassment; she lights were too bright and so she closed them again and pulled the quilt over the top of her head), the question Sirius had posed about her fancying James, and… it got pretty fuzzy after that.

“You’re up?” Mary walked over and sat on the edge of Lily’s bed. Exerting a large amount of effort, Lily managed to open her eyes (Did they install new light bulbs? Those are way too bright. Wait, Hogwarts doesn’t have light bulbs) and scoot up so she was half-sitting, half-laying down against the headboard of her four poster bed. She blinked a few times and the world came into focus. Mary was sitting on Lily’s bed, still in pajamas, her soft brown curls a mess. Marlene was standing by her desk, brushing out her own golden locks. Marlene was facing towards Lily with a smirk on her face. Mary held out a glass of water which Lily accepted gratefully and chugged as quickly as possible. Her head still throbbed and her body ached, but her vision seemed a little less fuzzy and the dryness in her mouth disappeared after drinking the water. She passed it back to Mary who promptly Aguamenti-ed it and returned it to Lily. She took another sip. 

“Lover Boy stopped by earlier,” Marlene began. “He wanted to know how you were doing. And then he came back up with breakfast.” She gestured to a large tray sitting on Lily’s desk that had every breakfast food you could imagine on it: eggs cooked in a variety of ways, kippers, sausage, bacon, tomatoes, potatoes, golden toast, black pudding, white pudding, baked beans, scones, and a pot of tea and jug of pumpkin juice sitting next to it. However someone(s) had made quite the dent in it and there were plates lying scattered around the mountain of food, as well as empty used goblets and silverware. 

When Mary noticed Lily’s gaze pass over the used cutlery and dinnerware, she smirked. “Well, you couldn’t eat all of it by yourself, could you? Marlene and I had to help.” Lily shot her a falsely annoyed look before turning back to Marlene.

A puzzled expression came over Lily’s face. “Lover Boy?”

Marlene plucked a piece of toast off the tray and tossed it to Lily before selecting another one for herself. “You fancy him, don’t you? You told us last night in your drunken state.”

Lily took a bite of the bread and promptly choked on it. Lily looked horrified and her eyes widened, a blush the shade of the tomatoes waiting to be eaten spreading through her face and down her neck. She pulled the covers over her head and cursed. “Why did I ever tell you that?”

Marlene got up from the bed and went over to collect another plate of food. “I’d say you were just a tad inebriated, love, so you weren’t exactly thinking straight.”

Lily’s voice came muffled from under her Gryffindor quilt. “Obviously.”

Marlene ripped off a chunk of toasted bread and popped it in her mouth. “We’re glad you’ve come to terms with it, though. It was getting really annoying to see you so oblivious.” Mary nodded her head vigorously in agreement before taking an absurdly large bite out of a sausage. 

Lily’s head arose from the blankets, if only to take another bite of toast. “Can we please not talk about this now? I have a terrible hangover and I’m pretty sure “dealing with my feelings” is not a prescribed cure.”

Mary, being the kind and considerate friend she was, started to make a plate of food for Lily heaped high with all her favorite breakfast items. “Thank Merlin you finished all your homework during the week.”

Lily sat up and dug into the pile of food Mary had arranged for her. “That’s for sure.”

\-------

For the next months, Lily’s ever-growing crush on James seemed to be the only interesting thing to Mary and Marlene. They would make kissy-faces at her every other second and laugh whenever they caught Lily looking at James. They were also extremely confused with Lily, and they would ask her the same questions nearly daily:

“Why don’t you just snog him senseless, Lil?”

“What’s stopping you?”

“You know he’s also into you, right? I would have thought that would’ve been fairly obvious by now, but in case you’re a total twat I need to make sure.”

“Marlene, stop it, I’m sure she’s just taking her time. Although she really should just get over herself.” Those last two were from the same conversation the trio had one night. Mary was initially sympathetic to Lily’s confused feelings, but as time went on, she became just as annoyed as Marlene and practically begged Lily to just “get together with James already.”

The weeks flew by, it seemed. The months progressed and the weather turned. The snow melted and was replaced with bright, luscious, green grass, and little flowers that swayed in the breeze. The usually biting, winter air was replaced with a pleasant one and a scent that could only be described as ‘nature-like.’ Students received just as much schoolwork, but enjoyed it more since they could work outside. While the coming of spring reminded Lily of the fatal argument with Severus, she chose to take it for something else: a chance to start anew and make something different. She had new friends, a new life. She was the same Lily, but she was more confident. She wasn’t afraid to speak her mind. She was a person independent of her best friends. And there were new things on the horizon for her. 

She dreamed of finally plucking up the courage to confess her feelings to James, to not be afraid of what might lay ahead. Of taking the future into her own hands and letting herself be happy. It was of these dreams she thought of one April afternoon on a stroll back to Gryffindor Tower. 

\-----

An enjoyable breeze floated past her, enveloping her skin in a blanket of warmth. She smoothed out her black uniform skirt, relishing the feeling of the air on her exposed skin. It was the first actually warm day in what seemed like years, and Lily Evans was taking advantage of every second of it. Lily had always loved spring; for her it was a time for friendship and relaxation. She loved being in nature and that was one of the reasons Hogwarts was always so appealing to her: the school grounds were expansive and beautiful. Virtually as soon as she had seen the campus, Lily had made a silent promise to herself to explore every inch of it. After almost 6 years of attending the magical academy, she had come close to that goal. She was taking her regular route back to the tower that day, walking beside the grass until she got to the courtyard. 

So many days she had taken that route, and each day it seemed to bring something new for her. That day, there was someone accompanying her: a black-haired, bespectacled boy with the name of James Potter. They had finished Herbology and decided to walk back together; Sirius had detention, Remus had prefect duties (Lily had done hers the previous afternoon), and Peter had fallen ill a few days earlier. Marlene and Mary were also preoccupied, having failed a Potions quiz and needing to practice the recipe over and over. And so Lily and James were the only ones left in their mushed-together friend group of the Marauders + Lily, Marlene and Mary. They both tried to pass off their walking together as “oh, you’re the only one left here” but they were both secretly pleased to have a moment together. 

Pleased at first. It had become so difficult to be around James lately, for Lily. Whenever they were alone, her heart went berserk and she was genuinely concerned it was going to become a medical issue soon. But that day, she was determined to enjoy herself, and so she took the opportunity to walk with James. 

They, as always, fell into easy conversation almost instantaneously. Every time, it struck Lily how effortless and simple it was to chat with James. She made jokes, teased him, and was generally very comfortable without even realising it. They talked about everything and nothing all at once. One day, during one of their talks, she’d learned that initially he’d wanted to “go pro” in Quidditch, but now was considering a career in defense. 

“I can’t just sit around while there’s a war raging out there,” he’d said.

“Your father raised you well, I see,” she had commented in reply.

“He never brings it up, but I think he secretly hopes I’ll work in the department with him.”

“I don’t blame him. Who wouldn’t want to work with you?” Lily was embarrassed that she had spoken so carelessly, but forgot about that once she saw the wide, genuine smile James had worn.

James’ voice shook her back into the present moment. “It’s funny how things change, isn’t it?”

Lily absentmindedly tugged at a strand of her hair. “I guess it is.”

James looked not at her, but off into the distance, as if he was replaying a segment of reality in his head. “A year ago, you hated my guts. And now we’re here.”

Lily smiled to herself and shook her head. “I never hated you.” she admitted.

“You didn’t show it much.”

“It’s just… Severus…” To her surprise, Lily’s voice was thick with emotion thinking about her ex-best friend.

“I know,” James put his hands in his pockets. “Your best friend hated me, and so you had to as well.” His voice was bitter and cold as it landed on the words “best friend.”

“Well, you didn’t exactly help. It’s no girl’s dream to spend the better part of a year fending off a desperate boy with a hopeless crush.”

“You wound, me, Evans.” James put a hand over his abdomen and feigned being in pain. Lily chuckled.

“Almost there,” James continued. “Funny how this walk seems to get shorter each time I take it.”

Lily was about to agree when she looked at him and stopped walking, just staring at him. It was like she was suddenly seeing all of him, all at once. Yes, he was very handsome, but that wasn’t all she saw. She saw a boy with a massive heart, who was kind, and funny, and considerate, and caring, and smart. A million smiles and a thousand jokes flickered before her eyes. There weren’t words to describe it. The perfection was overwhelming. The sensation halted her pace.

And then he stopped as well and stared deep into her eyes, nearly boring holes into them. And she only saw one thing: love. Endless, boundless, love, all for her. He smiled the smile she had grown to adore, and looked at her inquisitively.

“Alright, Evans?” he asked. Simply, plainly.

Lily Evans had never been one to act on her impulses. She considered herself clear and level headed, always calculating a plan before acting. If she had a galleon for every time someone asked her why she wasn’t in Ravenclaw, she’d be able to give all the professors at Hogwarts a hefty pay raise. She held herself back. She was calm under pressure. She formed a plan of action before carrying it out. But in that moment, all her defenses melted into puddles at her feet, and before she could realise what she was doing her arms snaked around his neck and she was pressing his lips to hers. 

The kiss obliterated her. She couldn’t describe it if her life depended on it. It only lasted a few seconds before she withdrew to look again into his eyes, but she tried to savor that feeling forever. It was indescribable. He tasted of pumpkin juice and peppermint, a strangely amazing combination, and she was wrapped in his scent of leather and pine trees. She wanted to stay there forever. Luckily, she didn’t have to be without the feeling for long, since when she pulled away, he looked into her eyes and quietly said, “I’m going to do that again, okay?” She gave a slight nod before their lips met again. 

The second kiss was different, it was full of longing, and desperation, and hunger, and hope. Her mouth parted and the kiss deepened. His arms came around her waist, pulling her closer, and she clung onto him for what felt like dear life. It was far too intimate for the middle of the courtyard, but there was no one around and Lily could no longer be contained. She gave her heart to him in the kiss, hoping she’d receive his as well. 

When she finally pulled back, their arms stayed around each other and they just stood there in each other’s embrace. She chuckled through her impossibly wide smile, and, after what felt like several lifetimes, pulled her arms from around him and threaded her fingers through his. 

She gestured to the tower ahead of them. “Shall we?” She looked at him one last time. He looked shell-shocked and confused, like he suddenly wasn’t sure what reality was. He managed a faint nod.

She nearly dragged him along by her hand as they walked, both with a nameless happiness brewing within them, back to Gryffindor Tower.


End file.
